WANTED: Someone to slap my upside the head next time I manage to go two whole months without updating this site.

Jesus H. Christ, I have been slack. Or busy maybe. But mostly slack. Last time I updated this, the UK didn’t have a government, and everyone was complaining about how grey and miserable the weather was. How much has changed in those two short months; now we have a coalition government for the first time in 274 years (approximately) and everyone is complaining because its too hot. How time flies…

The last two months hasn’t entirely been without incident for me, I’ve managed to turn my crappy temp job into a not-quite-so-crappy-but-nonetheless-still-mostly-dull permanent job, become involved in the Take Back Parliament movement for electoral reform (more about that in future blog entries), become single, got a hair cut, and watched an unhealthy amount of sport on telly. I’ve even thought about maybe actually doing some sport, but lets be honest, its a tad warm for all that rushing about. This is the weather for sitting in the sunshine, sipping ice-cold cider (or the cooling and dehydrating beverage of your choice) and watching bands in a field.

Coincidentally (I’m a frickin’ master at this stuff) I’ll be crewing for the crazy (and alliterative) Kit Kaboodle kids at the excellent Two Thousand Trees festival in (hopefully) sunny Gloucestershire next weekend. They’re running the Greenhouse stage, which will be home to all manner of brilliant acoustic acts, including Aspen Sails, Shoes and Socks Off, and the superlative Every Other Ones, who I’m only plugging because they’re my mates. Oh, and they happen to be absolutely fucking amazing. If you’re at the festival make sure you come and say hi; everyone involved are simply lovely. Drunken, but lovely. Although I’ll probably be more one than the other.

That’ll do for now, but I’m definitely going to make more of an effort to update this regularly from now on. Honestly. Probably. Hit me if I don’t.

It’s not very often that I have a genuine reason to write here (which possibly goes some way to explaining my chronic inability to update this more frequently than once every 4 months). The very fact that I’m writing here today should be an indication that I have news, a grand announcement, or an opinion of such great importance that it simply *must* be shared with the world. This is not the case.

Instead what I have is a new toy. Or more precisely a toy that is new to me, even if the rest of the interweb has been enjoying it’s fruits for a couple of years. Last week I bought an iPhone.

This isn’t exactly shocking news. One of my friends (who shall remain nameless) expressed genuine surprise that I didn’t already own one – I suppose I already had the sanctimonious “I have an app for that” smugness of an iPhone owner anyway, so I didn’t take that as any sort of insult. But I have finally stepped into the 21st century and the promise of the entirety of the Internet at my fingertips 24/7, regardless of where I am has been fulfilled. Am I better for it? Happier, more knowledgable? Or does it just mean I can turn down Facebook invitations to raise virtual barns from the bus?

The honest answer is that it doesn’t even nearly matter. Yes, it’s nice that I can write this from my phone. Yes it’s nice that I can check my email whilst in bed, on a train or indeed whilst sat on the toilet, but ultimately, like all “must have” gadgets, this one is at best a useful tool, and the rest of the time merely a toy – albeit one which I doubt I’ll grow tired of any time soon.

So as I said before, this post has no real purpose. Other than to test the features on my new Wordpress app. Naturally.

OK, so my intention was that once the blog was back up and working again that I’d start actually using it. As you can see, this hasn’t happened. But NEVER FEAR! I am back, and have every intention of getting back to the ultra-important task of ffilling this corner of the interweb with my particular brand of mediocre and poorly thought out “commentary”.

In order to get the ball rolling, here are my thoughts on some of the events of the last few weeks which I would have blogged about, had I actually got around to it:

- Windows 7 is out. This would be ultra exciting were it not for the fact that I’ve been using it happily for months. Woo.

- Nick Griffin looked massively like Nixon on Question Time, IE shifty, gutless, lying and mostly incompetent.

- The Beeb’s big nature documentaries like Life & Planet Earth should be made compulsary viewing for school children. Partly because it will instill in them a desire to do everything they can to protect our planet, but also because everything Attenborough touches turns to gold.

- Jan Moir is a cunt. Thats about it really.

Huzzah! The site is back up and working again! And with a spangly new design to boot! There’s still a few things that I need to tweak with regards to the new site theme, but overall I’m pretty pleased with it. Obviously it would have been nice not to have the whole site die on me to get the motivation to go ahead with the redesign, but its done now. Any comments, suggestions and bugs found please either comment, email or twitter me, all my contact details are available here.